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TflE AMAZONS ^»r«e^ Three Acts. Seyen males, five iemaies. 
Costumes, modem ; scenery, not difficult. Plays 
a full evening. 

THE CABINET MINISTER Farcem Four Acts. Tenmales,mne 

females. Costumes, modem society ; 
Bcenety, three interiorso Plays a full evening. 

DANDT DICK ^"*'® *^ Three Acts. Seven males, four femaies. 
Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. PlayE 
two hours and a half, 

TflE GAT LORD ODEX ^^o^^edy in Four Acts. Four males ten 
^ females. Costujnes, modem ; scenery, 

two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

flIS HOUSE IN ORDER ^^^^^y in Four Acts. Nine males, foiiT 
females. Costumes, modern 5 scenery^ 
three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE HOBBT HORSE ^**™®'^y "* Three Acts. Ten males, five 
females. Costumes, modern; scenery easy. 
Plays two hours and a half. 

IRIS ^'^*™* ^ ¥iY& Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumeflj 
modem ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

LADT BODNTIk^DL ^^^ *" ^"'^ '^*'*^° lS.\g^t males, seven fe- 
males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four in- 
teriors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 

LETTY ■''^'^*™* ^ Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five fe- 
males. Costumes, modem ; scenery complicated. Plays a 
full eventagc 



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Special Delivery 



A Farce in One Act 



By 
D. M. HENDERSON 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1911 



Special Delivery ^ >j^^4 



1 



CHARACTERS 



Mr. Allen Fortescue. 

Major Coggins, a post-office inspector, 

A Postman. 

Miss Margery Portwaite. 

Aunt Kizzie, an old negro servant* 




Copyright, 1911, by, Walter H. Baker & Co. 



iCLD 25iJc;5 



special Delivery 



SCENE. — The action occurs in the reception room of Mr. 
John Portwaite" s home. The room is furnished with a rug, 
a table, a screen, a telephone, and several chairs. The 
entrances are R. and L. The time of the action is five p. m. 

(Mr. Allen Fortescue has fust handed Aunt Kizzie his 
card at rise of curtain.') 

Aunt K. I'se gwine take dis kyard to Miss Margery, Marse 
Allen, but I knows purzackly what she gwine say. She's done 
tole me 'spressly dat she ain't gwine to be at home to you. 

For. Auntie, tell her I've got to see her ! She'll drive me 
crazy if she keeps on in this way ! Tell her that if she don't 
come down, I'm going up ! 

Aunt K. Go long, Marse Allen ! Won't her eyes snap fire 
when I tells her dat ! \^Exit, L. 

For. (taking a letter from his breast pocket). How can I 
persuade Margery to drop these ridiculous notions? If these 
are the things women's colleges teach, no wonder the marriage 
rate among their graduates isn't high. {Reads.) "I can't 
marry a man content to live solely on inherited money ! I 
can't marry a non-producer ! I've talked it over with dad, 
and I think he agrees — dear old dad, who slaved so for what 
he's gotten ! You remember what Carlyle says : ' Produce ! 
Produce ! Were it but the pitifuUest, infinitesimal fraction of 
a product, produce it, in God's name ! ' Show me that you 

can earn your living by hard work ; — then Until you 

bring such proof, I think it best, for peace of mind, not to see 
you." 

Aunt K. {entering l.). Miss Margery tole me to ax if 
you'd brung her dat proof? 

For. Hang it ! No ! 

Aunt K. Den I'se to inform you dat you can't see her. 
An' she says, " Jes' let him try to come up ! " Clar to good- 
ness, Marse Allen, you better not try ! 



4 SPECIAL DELIVERY 

For. {approaching door- r.). Guess I'd better take your 
advice. I see it's me for overalls and a dinner pail ! I'd like 
to have old Carlyle by the neck ! ( Glances through the 
door.') Wait ! That's a special delivery postman coming up 
the steps ! Quick, Auntie, bring him in here ! I've a notion 
that this will give me a chance to see her. (Aunt K. leaves, 
R., and reenters, a moment later, with Postman. For., to 
Postman.) I see you've a special delivery letter. For Miss 
Portwaite, I presume. 

Postman. Miss Margery Portwaite, sir. 

Fob. You require her signature ? 

Postman. If possible. 

For. I want you to let me deliver that letter — in your 
uniform ! 

Postman. Not on your life ! What are you trying to get 
me into ? 

For. Oh, I know it's surprising, and against Uncle Sam's 
rules ! But no one will hear of it ; no harm will come of it ; 
and I'll pay you what you think it's worth ! 

Postman. It's worth fifty, and a heap more if I get in a fix 
through it ! 

For. {counting out bills). There's the fifty, and you'll get 
what you ask if the other thing happens. Step behind this 
screen. Auntie, stand guard ! 

{They go behind the screen. Aunt K. stands before it, 
arms outstretched.) 

Aunt K, Lawdy ! Marse Allen's gittin' dis ole woman 
into a bar'l of trubble 1 S'pose ole Marse John was to come 
home now ! S'pose Miss Margery took a notion to git some- 
fin' in dis room ! 

(For. and Postman reappear, each wearing the other's 
clothes. ) 

For. Good fit, eh, Auntie? {To Postman.) And now, 
would you mind taking a walk around the block ? 

Postman. If it'll suit you, I'll slip home and get my supper. 
I meant to do that before I went back to the office. I won't 
be long. 

For. It suits me to a T. Give the bell a ring as you 
leave. Auntie, show the gentleman out. {Exeunt, R., Aunt K. 
and Postman ; a bell rings ; Aunt K. returns.) And now, 
Auntie, I'm ready for Miss Portwaite's signature ! 



SPECIAL DELIVERY 5 

Aunt K. Yas, suh ! But doan' yo' let on, Marse Allen, 
dat I had anything to do wif dis hocus-pocus ! {^Exit, L. 

For. (^pulling his cap over his face). It'll be just my luck 
if she asks to have my receipt book sent up ! (^Glances 
through the door.) No ! She's coming ! 

Enter Miss Margery Portwaite, l. J 

Miss P. You've a letter for me ? 
For. Yes, miss ! 

(Miss P.' takes the letter and signs the book. As she re- 
turns the book, For. seizes her hand and kisses it.) 

Miss P. {snatching her hand away). You wretch — how 
dare you ! 

For. (removing his cap). I'll dare your lips next ! 

Miss P. Allen ! You a postman ? Oh, I see ! You've 
gone to work ! You're earning that thousand ! 

For. No, dear. I'm a postman for a half hour only. This 
was just a ruse I used to see you. But Gad, if you stick to 
your word I guess I might as well be a postman as anything 
else ! I wonder if these fellows have to pass a stiff exam ? 

Miss P. (stiffly). Whatever you do, Mr. Fortescue, you'll 
not gain much by starting with a policy of deception. 

(Starts to leave and drops the letter.) 

For. Please, Margery, be reasonable ! I <zw a producer, 
dear ! I've sweated for the last six months over a novel — I 
meant to surprise you ! 

Miss P. A novel ? Has it been accepted ? 

For. I — I haven't heard from the publisher yet. 

Miss P. But so many novels have failed — it takes a great 
one to earn its author a thousand a year. I'd love you to 
work in that way, but I must stick to what I've said. Bring 
me proofs and not prospects ! 

Major Coggins (entering r., and snapping handcuffs on 
For.). Ah, your rope's end's reached ! Thought you were 
fooling us, eh? (To Miss P.) Pardon, miss, this intrusion. 
The door was open and I took advantage of the opportunity — 
it's always best to take 'em by surprise ! 

Miss P. What? Do you mean that he's under arrest? 

Major. That's what, young lady ! Sorry if he's a friend, 
but he's been rifling letters for months ! We've searched his 
room and caught him with the goods— money I marked myself ! 



6 SPECIAL DELIVERY 

For. It's a beastly mistake. I'm Allen Fortescue, and not 
the man you want. For a joke I borrowed his uniform. If he 
hasn't smelled a mouse he'll be back here shortly. Take off 
these handcuffs ! 

Major. The deuce ! Well, you're in a hole, anyway ! 
If he gets away you'll be charged with aiding and abetting 
him ! {The telephone bell rings.') Hah ! That may be 
Ryan ! I left him to guard the crook's house ! {Springs 
to the telephone.') Hello! Yes! That you, Ryan? The 
dickens you have ! Good work, old man — he slipped me 
here ! Yes, I've heard about the clothes he's wearing ! All 
right, bring him here ! {Puts up the receiver, returns to For., 
and removes the handcuffs.) There, Mr. Allen Fortescue, that 
lets you out ! Ryan nabbed our man as he was entering his 
home. {To Miss P.) By your leave, miss, I'll wait for them 
in the hall. {Picks up the dropped letter.) Did you drop this, 
miss? [^Exit, R. 

Miss P. Oh, Allen, how relieved I am ! Think of you 
being jailed — and on my account ! {Opens the letter.) 

For. Yes, it ought to be a lesson for you ! Think of the 
temptations to which the man who toils is exposed ! 

Miss P. {laughing). Listen ! My letter's from dad, and it has 
glorious news! {Reads.) "I'm sending this ' special ' that it 
will reach you before Fortescue drops in. Girlie, you've been 
unjust to him ! Take him out of the ' non-producing ' class at 
once. I called on my old friend MacDougal, the publisher, 
this morning, and heard of a new author whose manuscript he 
was about to accept. He swears it will be a ' best-seller ' and 
make its author rich ! Give Fortescue — sly dog — my con- 
gratulations ; he's the author!" Oh, Allen, I'm not worthy 
to congratulate you ! I called you a non-producer ! I doubted 
your ability ! 

For. Fiddlesticks ! 'Twas your preaching that set me to 
work; and you didn't doubt my ability more than I did my- 
self! {Approaches her, arms outstretched.) Do you think 
that party in the hall will see us ? 



CURTAIN 



New Plays 



THE PEOPLE'S MONEY 

A COMEDT IN THREE ACTS 
For Male Characters Only I 

By Harold Hale 

Author of " What They Did fok Jenkins," " A Tax on Bacheloes," 
" The Best Man," etc. 

Eleven male characters. Scenery, two easy interiors. Costumes modern. 
Plays an hour and forty-five minutes. A very effective piece in the popular 
vein so successfully tapped in " The Lion and the Mouse," dealing with the 
"Frenzied Finance" idea. The conjuring of modern financiers with the 
savings of the people is full of dramatic possibilities, which are here adroitly 
employed. Not a sermon, but a good acting play, sure tc thrill an audience. 
Very clean and suited for schools. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Mb. James R. Rogeks, the president Me. Benjamin Black, 1 „,„ i.t,„,^,„. 

of the First National Banlc. Me. Feank KENNEDY, / ^^oeienoiaert 

Me. "William Aknold, the cashier of of the bank. 

the First National Bank. Me. Chaeles Feedbeick Watson, 

Me. Hbney Seaes, )^. manager nf the Eldorado InsuranceCo. 

Me. Alfeed Edwaed Jones, \ ' Me. Samuisl Emeey, a detective. 

rectors of the hank. Conney Duffy, watchmanat the door 

Me. Chaeles Paekee, third assist' of the president's private qfflce. 

ant cashier of the bank. A Physician. 

SYNOPSIS 

ACTI. — Mr. Black's Apartments. The panic. A plot. John Butts, 
Detective. A fair exchange. Foiled. 

ACT II. — The Preside'iit's office at the First National Bank. The rob- 
bery. Conney Duffy at the 'phone. Thieves fall out. " Dead ! " 

ACT III. —The same. The run on the bank. The fight for life. A 
crisis. Saving the day. The people's money. 

THE 
BLACK BREACH OF PROMISE CASE 

A DARKY MOCK TRIAL 

By J. Barnes 

Author of " Looking foe Teouble," etc. 

Eight males, one female and jury. The single female character can and 
should be played by a man. Scenery unimportant ; costumes eccentric. 
Plays half an hour. A very brisk and laughable entertainment, sure to 
please. Easy to get up and effective in performance. 

Price, 15 cents 



New Plays 
THE TEASER 

A RURAL COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 



By Charles S. Allen 

Four male, three female characters. Scene, an easy interior, the same for 
all three acts ; costumes, modern. Plays about an hour and a half. An ad- 
mirable play for amateurs, very easy to get up, and very effective. Uraliab 
Higgins, a country post-man, and Drusilla Todd are capital comedy parts, 
introducing songs or specialties, if it is desired to lengthen the piece. Do- 
mestic drama, with plenty of incidental fun. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

As originally produced by The RusseU Club, in Y. M. C. A. Hall, Melrose, 
June 5, 1907. 

Rita Dickinson 

Carleton A. Sawyer 

Bessie Anderson 

Carl Robinson 

Edith Johnson 

. Levi Stevens 

Norton Messenger 



Ellicb Flemyng, Mrs. Flemyng's daughter 

Aknold Haye, a young journalist 

Mks. Makion Flemyng, a widow 

Db. Thorpe, homeopath; a philosopher as well 

Deusilla Todd, Uraliah's best girl 

IJRALiAH Higgins, Hwal Free Delivery 

Ebenezeb Randall, a man of means . 



W, 



THE HERO OF THE GRIDIRON 



A COLLEGE COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS 



By Estelle Cook 



Nine male, four female characters and supernumeraries. Costumes, mod- 
ern ; scenery, easy interiors and exteriors, not essential. Plays about two 
hours. A successful college farce on the football theme, suited to co-educa- 
tional and other colleges ; very easy and remarkably effective in perform- 
ance. Can be played only on payment of a royalty of $5.00 for each per- 
formance to the author. 



Price, 25 cents 
CHARACTERS 



HARRT Randolph, a Freshmanfrom 

the White Horse Banch. 
Mb. Tbix, a football coach. 
Fbank Barnes, '\ members of the 
Fred "Wheeler, I Bouncer Squad 
Walter French, r and the Beta 
John Taylor, J Beta Frat. 
T. L. Tintyte, a photo agent. 



Ruben UvsriG,fromHaysfacJcRanch 
Mr. Randolph, Harry's father. 
Maud Davis, the most popular girl 

on the campus. 
Ruth Randolph, Harry's sister. 
Miss Prue, an antiquated chaperon. 
The Nurse, who lives on the eamput. 



a. W. pnero'0 ^laps 



THF IWAfilSTRATF ^*rce in Three Acts. Twelve males, four 
lUC 1T1AU1J11\AIG females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all 
interior. Plays two hours and a half. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSBITE °?°i;:J'r,Lr.. 

Costumes, modern ; scenery, all interiors PI: ys a full evening. 

THF PPOFI IfiATF flay in Four Acts, oeven males, five females. 
lUC rnurMUAlL, g^g^ery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

TIIE SCflOOlMISTRESS 



Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, seven 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 
three interiors. Plays a full evening. 



THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY 



Play In Four Acts. Eight 
males, five females. Cos- 
tumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

SWFFT I AVFNTIFR comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, four 
Oni^Cl l4AfLini;L.A fgjjj^ieg Scene, a single interior; costumes, 

modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIIHFS *^<''^^*iy *° Pour Acts. Six males, seven females. 
Scene, a single interior; costumes, modern. Plays a 
full evening. 

THF WFAKFR SFX <^<^™®dy in Three Acts. Eight males, eight 
1 nil 11 Li Litl tjl4 females. Costumes, modem ; scenery, two 
interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHODT A SMILE ^{^.'^^^Z.^Z 

iiiod«r& ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



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Walttt 1$. I3a6er & Company 

]^o. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston^ Massachusetts 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 





SEP 1 19i: 



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5^illtam 5^arren Clittton 
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AS YOIT 1 IKV IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
AO lUU J^l&Lt II females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

CAMIT I F I^^^^^^ i'^ Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
WAlTllL(t<t< tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

INHOMAff Pl^'J ii Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
'inUvlTl^UV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

IWAWY STUART Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
illAIVl OIUAm males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE ^^^^^^^ S^^t 

picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

PirHPT IPIT Play in Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 
AlvULiMtiU erv elaborate : coi ~ " - — 

evening. 



ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 



THF KIVAI S Comedy in I^ve Acts. Nine males, five females. 
1 lit/ ni T AL(tJ Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 
full evening. 

MlC MUUrS IV LUMyLlEK males, four females. Scenery va- 
ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL iX'tfmK 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



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